I Love Hippies

Trendy...and expensive.

I know, shocking right? But it’s true. I freaking love hippies, or at least modern hippies. Now don’t get me wrong, I still hate old school hippie ideology; capitalism is evil, drop out of society, live ‘freely’ and all the other bull shit that ended up destroying the movement (turns out a life of drugs and unprotected sex doesn’t end well).

So why do I love today’s hippies? Because they not only fail to live up to the ideology of the movement that inspires them, they actually contradict it on a regular basis. They buy: $16 for a CD chock full of anti-capitalism anti-consumerism rhetoric, $40 for a t-shirt with some asinine phrase like ‘peace is a state of mind’ or ‘buck fush,’ $10 for a trendy poster of some leftist band or celebrity.

There is nothing more hypocritical than giving money to the ‘evil corporations’ in exchange for merchandise criticizing the ‘evil corporations’. Take the ever ubiquitous Che image for example. Is there anything more ironic than the commercialization of the image of a man who stood for Socialism and hated capitalist consumerism?

So go on hippies, keeping buying your trendy CDs and t-shirts, keep buying your leftist posters and buttons. And hey put those buttons on that $100 messenger bag, because while you might think you’re rebelling you’re still fulfilling the most important duty of every citizen, buying buying buying.

I googled ‘liberal t-shirts’ and here a few of my favorite finds:

Ya! If we were Socialist we'd be so much more free, I mean look at Fascist Italy, Nazi Germany, Communist Russia and Communist China...

But it can buy a trendy t-shirt with a nifty phrase about how useless money is.

Hey that looks like the stuff you used to buy that shirt!